• Joncash2@lemmy.ml
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      9 months ago

      Yes, but this is happening in the states too yet we don’t have this kind of insanity. For example, onlyfans is basically a website dedicated to monetizing incels. But there’s an implicit understanding that those actresses have their own lives. For some reason, in S.Korea they’re not allowed to have their own lives. It’s bizarre no matter how you look at it.

      • NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip
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        9 months ago

        Not really.

        Onlyfans is more or less a strip club. It is not (just) about seeing titties. It is about “the fantasy”. Ask any stripper and the best possible “gimmick” is to be “working my way through (grad/law/nursing/whatever) school” since that lets clients feel like they are “saving” you.

        And, on a surface level, that is similar. Pop Idol better not have a boyfriend because she is a permanent virgin and blah blah blah.

        But that is where it ends. Because the guy who starts getting overly possessive of a stripper/sex worker/OF model/whatever? We, as a society, think they have issues and there is usually a support structure to get them away from the person they are going to stalk.

        Whereas with k-pop (and, to a somewhat lesser extent, j-pop and the like): The support structure encourages that mindset and punishes the performer for daring to ruin “the fantasy”. And, as can be seen here and every other time this happens, “society” encourages that.

        And… South Korea is so fucked that it makes Japan look like a good place to be a woman. Like, it is a genuine problem to the point that voice actresses have gotten “cancelled” because someone thought they made a rude gesture that insults men.

        • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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          9 months ago

          TBH, the strippers I’ve known IRL were actually doing that. One of them got a degree from a pricey art school and now is a VP at an advertising firm (she started as a photographer, moved up to graphic design, then art direction…). I’m acquainted with one that has a day job as an attorney and does it because she both enjoys it, and it pays better than most legal jobs.

          • NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip
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            9 months ago

            Yeah. One of my best friends literally stripped her way through law school.

            But it is also just a bog standard thing to say during a lap dance or whatever. “oh, I’m just doing this until I get through veterinary school” and so forth.

            • Zahille7@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              Whenever I went to the strip club, my mind was focused on the tittues and asses. I couldn’t care less why they were stripping other than for money.

              But that’s just me.

        • Mango@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          They’re literally enforcing with their culture all of the shit that’s bad about prostitution which we prohibit prostitution for, but without all the fun of paying for sex.

      • Laticauda
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        9 months ago

        I mean there are a lot of dudes who do not have this “implicit understanding.” the difference is more in how normalized it is.

      • KingJalopy @lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        Ever heard of Grant Amato? This dude did not have any implicit understanding of anything whatsoever.

        For anyone interested here is a video. Go to 34:20 for this guy’s fucked up story. Wavywebsurf did a section on him and this guy… Just wow…

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9IuG1GTAV0

        • NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip
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          9 months ago

          And he is considered a massive creep and the same level of freaks how as most “true crime” (speaking of: it is generally bad form to use the names of people like that because it is just giving them recognition).

          As opposed to the norm and the expected behavior.

  • Blackout@kbin.run
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    9 months ago

    I hereby apologize to all women for being married and off the market these last 17 years. Don’t worry, you didn’t miss anything special.

    • Wogi@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      You mother fucker. I hope you’re happy. I hope you’re REAL FUCKING HAPPY.

      I hope that woman brings you a fucking LIFETIME of joy and comfort after that colossal fuck up. Yeah. I hope you both love each other and live in one another hearts for a hundred years and then DIE AT THE SAME TIME. you asshole.

    • HessiaNerd@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Hyper capitalist emotional exploitation.

      Take a normal human emotion, feed it through a system optimized to wring out profit, this is what is left.

      • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Yes clearly there are no biological reasons why a person would want to have sex with someone else who is attractive

        • cjoll4@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          I’m not sure I follow your meaning.

          “Wanting to have sex with someone else who is attractive” is “a normal human emotion,” as the commenter above you acknowledged. I don’t think anyone would deny that there’s a fundamental biological mechanism at work there.

          Being outraged that a performer you’ve never met (who has no personal obligation to you) is in a relationship, and then having your outrage justified by an apology? That’s not the same. That’s not just biology. That’s culture. It’s the result of taking the “biological reason” - or “normal human emotion” - and wringing it through a targeted marketing campaign and culture of idolatry designed to cultivate unhealthy parasocial relationships for the sole purpose of extracting profit.

          • CrayonRosary@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            Humans are capable of having a serious crush on a prominent person they’ve never met. And the system exploits this. The stars themselves are not innocent of this either. They know how they are perceived and they like the money, and some like the (normal) attention. This goes for both male and female stars.

            In the end, they are the ones getting dressed up and going on stage to move their bodies for the pleasure of the crowd. There are plenty of other ways to make money in a capitalist system. You can’t blame capitalism. The stars chose the life.

            I’ve never studied it, so I’m curious if this phenomenon occurs in true Marxist/Leninist societies, which many people see as the opposite of capitalism. Surely stars still exist? Money still exists in those societies and surely people spend it on entertainers.

            Changing the system won’t stop it. The only way to stop producers and entertainers from exploiting base human emotions is to outlaw exploiting base human emotions, and man… any government with the absolute power to do that is going to be dystopian. But, hey, ads would be outlawed!

            The “victims” themselves—the lonely guys at home being brainwashed into falling in love with a star—are also not blameless since they allowed themselves to be put in that position by consuming that kind of media.

            People are barely evolved apes. We won’t figure this shit out for another million years of evolution. We have emotions. Everyone exploits them and allows themselves to be exploited. Plenty of blame to go around.

            I’m just high and rambling. Don’t take anything I said too seriously, because I don’t believe any of it with any real conviction.

            ™Whatever the hell that means.

            (I don’t know how to type a dagger on my phone, so I hope you liked my footnote mark. It kinda felt appropriate. Almost don’t even need the footnote.)

    • The Menemen!@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      The enterntainment industry as a whole (from music over movies up to professional sports, even literature to a degree) shows just how depraved our society is (is and was, not “has become”, we were always shit).

  • De_Narm@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    I really don’t get the mindset of these people, neither do they know their celebrity crush nor will they ever get an actual chance. It does make no difference to them. They could just as well fantasize about their crush leaving their partner for them.

    • Dudewitbow@lemmy.zip
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      9 months ago

      i call it the dark side of idolism.

      its a way to extract money very well, but it creates a toxic environment

      • nomous@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        They can only have sex with me and I want them to do slutty stuff, BUT ONLY WITH ME.

    • RBG@discuss.tchncs.de
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      9 months ago

      Yeah but most of them rather fantasize how the boyfriend of their crush is railing her regularly and she is enjoying it. Not sure why.

      • De_Narm@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        See, I don’t get that either. Almost all K-Pop stars get railed regularly, I’m pretty sure of that. They are good looking people and if they like sex they sure as hell get some. How delusional are these people?

    • lorkano@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      It happens both in Japan and Korea…this is really insane. There was a celebrity weather forecaster girl in Japan and when she was discovered outrage was crazy

    • cordlesslamp@lemmy.today
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      9 months ago

      That’s the difference between the East and the West “idol” culture.

      Tay Swift would just tell those guys to go suck a big one.

      The Korea’s idol industry treat their stars like livestock. Milking them for every penny they can. No doubt she was forced to apologize by her management company.

    • stoly@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      This was her trying to not end up in the hate lists. It’s a big problem in Korea and if you end up in the wrong end of the public’s attention you’re in trouble.

        • stoly@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          There’s a pattern that occurs in Korea: person becomes known, person becomes popular, people become obsessed. Then in a very incel way, a group reacts strongly to something random and unimportant that popular person did. This hate goes viral and suddenly millions after joining in. Next thing you know the popular person is in hiding under guard or has to leave the country. Then everyone forgets the whole thing and it’s like nothing ever happened except a few people having their lives ruined for no reason.

          I don’t know enough to explain anything here, I’ve just seen a lot of articles like this.

            • stoly@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              You don’t become a K-POP star just because you’re pretty and sing well. These people also come from money and people with money in Korea typically have sent children to live in the US/Canada/Europe to get a bachelors degree. Many stay, blah blah blah. Point is, if you have money, you have somewhere to escape to.

            • TheGalacticVoid@lemm.ee
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              9 months ago

              Leaving the country is unreasonable but hiding under protection of guards 24/7 isn’t? They’re not criminals wanted across the world, just wanted in their home country.

    • SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works
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      9 months ago

      It’s a feedback loop. A lot of these fans have mysoginistic views, so they demand the impossible from women, the involved corporations have no humanist values, so they reproduce these impositions, which validates those views, which in turns provokes that a lot of these fans have mysoginistic views, so they demand the impossible from…

    • Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works
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      9 months ago

      It’s a part of kpop. I remember listening to a podcast about how some of these kpop kids get molded and it focused on a boy band that were discouraged from dating, and if they did date it must be secret. I guess one of the more famous boy singers got found out and it basically became like a national scandal.

  • chetradley@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    K-pop agencies are reportedly keen to promote their stars as romantically obtainable, while in Japan many pop stars have “no dating” clauses in their contracts.

    Wouldn’t being banned from dating make you the opposite of “romantically obtainable”?

    • Fisk400@feddit.nu
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      9 months ago

      The fans can fantasize about meeting them and they being so smitten that they defy the clause for the fan. There is also an element of collective ownership. If nobody can have her, every one has an equal chance.

      • neidu2@feddit.nl
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        9 months ago

        “I’ve queued for 30 hours for this album signing. Certainly she will be smitten upon seeing me in this nice fedora I bought just for the occasion”.

    • edric@lemm.ee
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      9 months ago

      They sell the fantasy that the star is romantically attainable only to the indovidual fan, and not anyone else. It doesn’t make sense, but you can say the same for onlyfans models and why people pay them for “personalized” content.

    • suction@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      The idol / boy group / girl group business everywhere fucking sucks, in Japan as well. Nothing but predatory people and practices and a dumb-as-bread fanbase who’s bamboozled by the veneer of exoticism into thinking it’s all fun and games. Look at Japan where “Johnny” Kitagawa built a boy-idol empire to be able to rape hordes of teenagers and then basically enslave them with contracts into making a fortune for him. And nothing happened for decades despite everybody knowing what’s going on with him, because, “oh gosh, aren’t they funny and pretty and happy boys”? In Japan and South Korea, if you’re a rich old man, you can rape kids by the dozen and the worst that will happen to you is have to pay them some hush money if they publicly accuse you. Western otakus don’t know what fucking dirty businesses they support and glorify.

        • suction@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          It’s always the same, and it’s also obvious, but it’s kept going by the support from fans who don’t give a shit.

  • AAA@feddit.de
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    9 months ago

    If you sell an illusion you have to deal with both the delusional and disillusioned.

  • ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works
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    9 months ago

    Homer : [after hearing “Baby On Board” could be a hit] Wait’ll I tell Marge.

    Nigel : Oh, yes. Bouffant Betty. Well, I would prefer we kept your marriage a secret. You see, a lot of women are going to want to have sex with you, and, uh, we want them to think they can.

    Homer : Well, if I explain it to Marge that way, I’m sure she’ll understand.


    [at the house, Marge cries into her pillow]

    Homer : [trying to comfort her] Come on, honey. It’ll only be 'til we finish our tour of Sweden.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Why are people this obsessed over another human?

      Because enormous sums of money are spent marketing this individual as a form of paid parasocial relationship. You get (fake) emails from her. You get (fake) social media interactions with her. You get a deluge of media telling you that she’s available and interested and looking to meet a guy just like you. You spend hours in line to get tickets to a sold out show. You wait with baited breath for every new media release, which is inevitably a song or movie or other material about her falling in love with a stranger who follows her from afar. This, combined with the endless peer pressure on other women to become this iconic individual.

      Idol culture is the social equivalent of playing the lottery. And finding out your idol is “taken” is like hearing you got sold a ticket to a prize that’s already been awarded to someone else.

      • jenny_ball@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        exactly. don’t blame the simps for being affected by directed and successful marketing.

          • HUMAN_TRASH@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            Yeah I’m still blaming them, it just means there’s more people to blame. Reminds me of a buddy from high school I had who ended up managing a strip club and how he would tell me about all the guys that would fall in love with one of the women and buy them a bunch of expensive shit. This is actually worse I think.

          • TheGalacticVoid@lemm.ee
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            9 months ago

            I can’t entirely blame people who are hurt, are at a disadvantage, or are being manipulated. Doesn’t matter what their age.

        • veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          But I mean when has society ever glamorized a fan winning the affection of an idol. From what I’ve seen, it’s only a on the horror genre…