A Pole is walking along the beach one day, when he sees a dirty piece of what looks like a glass bottle sticking up from the sand. Thinking there might be something tasty inside, he picks it up and uses his sleeve to wipe off the surface.
Awakened by the rub, a Genie suddenly appears from the mouth of the bottle, flowing upward to manifest in the air before the Pole, who is briefly surprised but manages to retain his composure.
“You have awakened me from my sleep,” says the Genie, “and I will grant you three wishes.”
The Pole thinks for a few minutes. Then he says to the Genie, “You know what I want? I want the Mongols should invade Poland”.
“Are you sure?” the Genie asks, thinking that this is a bit odd.
“Yes, I want the Mongols should invade Poland.”
“All right,” the Genie replies, and as soon as he commands it, the Mongols depart; they cross the continent, they come to Poland, they rape, they burn, they pillage, they do what Mongols do, and they leave.
“What is your second wish?”
The Pole thinks for a minute.
“You know what? I think I want the Mongols should invade Poland again.”
“… Are you sure?” the Genie asks again, thinking the man must be insane.
“Yes, yes. I want the Mongols should invade Poland again.”
“So it shall be,” the Genie replies. Once again, as soon as he commands it, the Mongols depart; they cross the continent, they come to Poland, they rape, they burn, they pillage, they do what Mongols do, and they leave.
“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thinks for a while, and makes some wish for wealth, or liquor, or something else pleasant but not important.
Before being freed, the Genie asks … “Sir, I have but one question. Why, why did you ask for the Mongols to invade Poland, not just once, but twice?”
“Ah, Genie,” says the Pole, “The Mongols, they invaded Poland twice … but they crossed through Russia four times.”
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the level of spite is factually accurate (source: i’m polish)
Mom, it’s my turn to become a ghoul!
