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You’re consistently fighting a losing battle against time… do you remember… you’re getting older… do you remember… death is coming… do you remember?
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thank you for your wisdom, horse
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Be thankful for the time we’re given instead of dreading the end.
Do you remember the 21st of September.
I just follow people and whisper “Memento Mori” randomly.
Not a battle, a race!
My fetish is to meet a woman on tinder, take her to a restaurant, and excuse myself. I then go tell the staff it’s her birthday so they go sing happy birthday to her while she is alone at the table.
I then leave.
My fetish is to meet a woman on Tinder
My fetish is to meet a woman(optional) on Tinder
My fetish (isn’t optional).
I imagine that someone out there shares this desire. Feels like you should (both) put in a support ticket so Tinder can help you meet.
I, too, hate being surrounded by a warm and plentiful gathering of friends and loved ones singing a song of appreciation for me. Every year! Without fail! All of them never forgetting. There are always so many of them! Like, just for once, let me have a birthday alone in a Texas Roadhouse, which I have never done!
Humans suck. I don’t want them to sing to me.
On your birthday I’ll take a stand and purposefully NOT sing anything related to flying squids or you. As a gesture that not all humans suck.
Nice! When is his birthday?
I know an identity theft scam when I see one.
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I had a big party my mom threw for my 40th birthday because she has a huge house and lives in the town where I grew up and half the people there never left. Another good percentage of them moved back. Anyway, I mostly ended up only talking to a handful of people who sort of monopolized me, so it was less fun than it could have been. Don’t get me wrong, it was great talking to them since I hadn’t talked to them in ages, but I ended up wishing I had talked to more people. I haven’t had a party since. Next year will be my 47th. Maybe if my mom is still around when I’m 50 she’ll do it again.
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… I just use funerals to see friends I rarely see
Squid on here 20 hours a day, chu talking to yoomans :( you stimulating conversation to train models to replace us?! How could you!
Definitely sucks to be remembered. Being forgotten and ignored is a much better way to live life. So much more fulfilling. Especially if you’re down to only a few remaining friends. The rest home is going to be awesome.
For real tho.
It’s so calm, no pressure, no expectations, no humans, just drifting slowly towards the warm embrace is the abyss. Even if it looks back at me - at least it’s not a human.
You guys, all, need therapy.
Yes. But what I was describing is also therapy.
The skip button is located in the face of the singers. You need to push really hard, but only once.
It’s a double click.
OK, my friends have an alternate happy birthday song, which is infinitely better, and still fulfills the societal expectation of a birthday song. The lyrics go like this:
This is your birthday song. It isn't very long. Hey! *single clap for punctuation*I’d suggest adopting it into your friend group for a better future.
I like that idea, but I have a better one that no one seems to catch on to yet. Namely, at most, walk by me, say “happy birthday,” then forget about the fact that it’s my birthday. Not saying anything also works.
I figure it’s impossible to fight the tide, but maybe you can channel it a little bit.
Does it have a melody?
Our friend group has a weird in-joke birthday song that’s faster and has synchronized clapping. It doesn’t drag like og birthday song, plus it’s a real power move in a busy restaurant to have 20 people scream-shouting a coordinated song no one else has heard before. I think a key feature of the song’s success is it has a few slower intro notes/words that one person can sing and it cues everyone else to jump in and in sync.
The 6th syllable of each line is… I want to say a full tone down? Then the “hey” is a tone or two up. I’m not super musically inclined, so I’m not sure I could tell you which notes.
Just start taking your clothes off, the song ends real fast.
My mother-in-law and father-in-law (before he died) used to call me on the phone and sing it to me with her singing harmony, while he also played guitar. And while the skill was appreciated… the first couple of times… it got old fast. And taking off my clothes would probably not help in that situation. I mean, obviously I did that anyway, but it didn’t help.
It’s also a great way to end a fight.
No one wants to fight a naked guy.
I don’t think anyone has sang me happy birthday in at least fifteen years, maybe twenty. I guess I’ve got the adblocker.
Please read this on your birthday: Happy Birthday!!
Not to be read until [your_birthdate]:
Happy birthday!
Ad blocker is age. When you get old enough this typically stops but like in a sad way
I’m about to take over as manager of my department. One of the first things I’m abolishing is mandatory singing of the happy birthday song. We’re fully remote and it’s impossible to sync up so we sound like a chorus of five-year-olds. Fully optional whether or not we sing for you, or even acknowledge your birthday, from now on.
Mandatory? Wow. Yeah, fuck that noise.
At you
Aww my relatively new friends who I have a weekly social group with found out it was my birthday the one night we gathered and sang to me and it made me tear up to be that loved in a moment. I loved it. Nobody has sung to me in probably 30 years.
I have only had to endure this 5 or 6 times in my life every year people would try to get me into it and i respectfully decline . But sometimes they show up at 12 with cake and shit and i just go along with it because i don’t wanna dissapoint them knowing how much effort they put into it.
And it’s not even an ad for something I want.
If, when they start singing, you get up and go to the bathroom, they will probably stop and not follow you. So, like 90% chance it gets better. 10% chance it gets much, much worse.
Yep, another birthday is soon rolling around for me also. Luckily the friends who wish me happy birthday always call and do it in “opera” voices so it’s extra annoyingly loud and obnoxious. One can never be too embarrassed on one’s birthday, right?
