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Hellfire103 to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago

Ohio Begins Executing Random People In Hopes They’re Criminals

www.theonion.com

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Ohio Begins Executing Random People In Hopes They’re Criminals

www.theonion.com

Hellfire103 to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago
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COLUMBUS, OH—In an effort to make the streets safer through arbitrary killings, the State of Ohio began executing random people Monday in the hopes they were criminals. “You have to assume at least some of the residents we are hanging and beheading are guilty of something terrible, right?” said Gov. Mike DeWine, who…
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  • taanegl@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    deleted by creator

    • Diplomjodler@feddit.de
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      1 year ago

      Well, they’re not entirely random in picking the people to execute.

      • taanegl@lemmy.world
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        deleted by creator

      • GONADS125@feddit.de
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        1 year ago

        Yeah, they pick out the easiest person to pin a crime on/extract a false confession from.

    • BruceTwarzen@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      The Kyle Rittenhouse defense

  • atomicorange@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    If we get even one criminal, it will have all been worth it.

    Stray not from the path of righteousness, or the random arm of the law may crush you! Or not, you know, it’s unpredictable really.

  • nvvp@discuss.tchncs.de
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    1 year ago

    Nah, it’s not going to be truly random. The lottery is fixed and only the poorest 30% are eligible.

    • Beefalo@midwest.social
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      1 year ago

      For some reason they all come from Cleveland

  • TubeTalkerX@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Just legalize Purge Night.

  • alicehughes@moist.catsweat.comBanned
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    Removed by mod

    • DarylDutch@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      What?

      • seahorse [Ohio]@midwest.socialM
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        1 year ago

        Spammer

        • malijaffri@feddit.ch
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          1 year ago

          *Scammer

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