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ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 years ago

Never more nervous

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Never more nervous

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ickplant@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 years ago
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  • 0x4E4F@lemmy.fmhy.ml
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    2 years ago

    So true 😞…

    And then she comes back and says “yeah, we’re out” and you’re like “yessssss, see that b*tch, I knew it!”.

    • Kokanee08@sh.itjust.works
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      2 years ago

      For me it’s a 50/50 chance that either it was right in front of my face exactly where I was looking, or we’re actually out of it. No in between

      • 0x4E4F@lemmy.fmhy.ml
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        2 years ago

        Exactly the same.

    • ImplyingImplications
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      2 years ago

      Did you really say bitch though?

      • srwax@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        I looked her in the windows of her soul and I said biiiiiiisssshhhhhh

      • Screwthehole@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        I did I said… shoulder check… biiitch

      • yopyop@feddit.de
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        2 years ago

        I said I said… biiiiiitch

      • 0x4E4F@lemmy.fmhy.ml
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        2 years ago

        Of course not, lol, that whole paragraph is silently going on in my head 😂.

        To be perfectly honest, my wife scares the shit out of me, she’s like 300 lbs, you don’t want to mess with that 😂.

        • Screwthehole@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          You need this!

          https://youtu.be/5LGEiIL1__s

          • PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocksB
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            2 years ago

            Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/5LGEiIL1__s

            Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

            I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.

          • 0x4E4F@lemmy.fmhy.ml
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            2 years ago

            Man, I miss hanging out with people who hate their wives…

            And yeah, I needed that 😂.

    • srwax@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      You said that? You said “bitch”?

      • 0x4E4F@lemmy.fmhy.ml
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        2 years ago

        No, just thought of it loudly in my head 😂.

    • thorbot@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      If you call your wife a bitch, you’re doing it wrong

      • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        “And I said, biiiiiitch …”

      • 0x4E4F@lemmy.fmhy.ml
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        2 years ago

        That whole part is silent, of course 😁. Dare say that in front of her and you better run 😂.

  • Obsession@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    I realized that when I look for something, I have a precise mental image of what I’m looking for. If the real object doesn’t match my mental image, it may as well not exist.

    Case in point, my girlfriend asked me to get her allergy meds. I was looking for a box with blister packs, they were in a bottle. I literally moved the bottle aside while looking, before telling her that I can’t find them

  • TrontheTechie@infosec.pub
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    2 years ago

    This is even more fun in a professional kitchen.

    “Bro, we had three people look and be unable to find it, add it to the 86 list.”

    “I just saw some in the walk in” Goes to look

  • thorbot@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I just go straight to the step where I ask her and she gets frustrated because it’s right in front of my stupid face

  • DeweyOxberger@kbin.social
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    2 years ago

    Like many people, I suffer from Refrigerator Blindness. My wife, however, does not. I learned to never assume we are out of something. I always assume I just can’t see it.

    • AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      As a married man, I just prefer to eat out and have hidden stores in high places of the house.

  • henfredemars@lemdro.id
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    2 years ago

    “Did you move things?!”

  • AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Tell her to make you a sandwich while she’s checking, if she asks why tell her it’ll calm her down and stop her from getting emotional.

  • Num10ck@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    don’t insist

    • happyhippo@feddit.it
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      2 years ago

      Ultimate survival tip is here 👆🏻

  • SJ_Zero@lemmy.fbxl.net
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    2 years ago

    Me irl

  • FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    “It’s right here!”

    • Froyn@kbin.social
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      2 years ago

      https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/rickandmorty/images/4/49/Scaryterry2.png

  • happyhippo@feddit.it
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    2 years ago

    This is me

  • MonkCanatella@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    MAH WAIF

  • Tenthrow@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    My problem is, I’m often convinced we are NOT out of something when we are. Can be more painful when cooking.

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