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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/WeeklySize5859 on 2024-01-24 07:52:19+00:00.

Hi all,

I think the title tells it straight but here is the scenario. I (29 F) have a best friend (29 F) and she has fallen head over heels for a married man. The man has been married to my best friend’s friend for a number of years. Let’s call the husband Dale, his wife and friend to my best friend Cindy, and my friend Debbie.

From the sounds of everything Cindy and Dale have a bad relationship. Cindy has a child from a previous relationship and two kids with Dale.

Cindy and Debbie have know one another about as long as I’ve known Debbie maybe give or take a couple years. I’ve known Debbie since 7th grade.

So where I might be the A-hole, Dale is now leaving Cindy. He’s moved in with family and stated he wants a divorce. They seemed to be heading here with or without the cheating; so what is it my business? Cindy is losing her mind and in bad shape. She has her suspicions about Dale cheating. Telling her it’s her friend, my best friend, will not only wreck her further but hurt my friendship. Lastly, my best friend Debbie long ago had participated in telling my high school boyfriend something that played into ending our relationship.

Myself and high school boyfriend had a long distance relationship for a year. We had an argument one night and broke up. I went out with friends and hooked up with someone. By the next day or two days later, my boyfriend and I had gotten back together. I felt I had cheated but never told that then boyfriend. I moved back, we had a good relationship but I had to leave again. The day I was leaving Debbie went to tell my high school boyfriend I cheated “on principle”.

I add this in because If I tell Cindy about Dale and Debbie, is this just spiteful?

I don’t know Cindy or have any investment in really what is going on other than being deeply bothered by seeing my best friend do this to another woman, family and some she calls a friend.

So, WIBTA if I told Cindy her husband cheated on her with my best friend Debbie? Or do I stay out of the hot mess express and spare myself the insanity to ensue?

TIA