John Malkovich’s voice and spectacular cadence in your head:

  • “It is estimated that Santa’s sleigh weighs 353 thousand tons. So, traveling at 650 miles per second would create such enormous friction that Santa and his reindeer would burst into flames. You understand? Like a meteor entering the atmosphere. This is a scientific fact.
  • Jesse
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    11 months ago

    And they’d be starting and stopping all over the place, so the kind of acceleration needed to reach that speed would kill any known organic being via g forces before they’d even suffer from the fire. But he’s one of the fae, so data on them is lacking I guess.