It’s rare, but it happens. They’re consenting adults.
E: look, I’m not a fan of this age gap, but everyone’s making up rules about what’s acceptable. Either they’re adults or not, 18 is the cutoff, and if no grooming was involved you can dislike it all you want but they’re still adults.
E2: looks like they met when she was under age. So, no…this doesn’t work right at all.
Edit: to not be cryptic, my hope was that you’d answer similarly… obviously. To me the issue is not the age difference in and of itself but how or if the relationship came to be because of the age difference and the issues of power and control that might imply regardless of the gender identity of the older person. Obviously, older men do typically have disproportionate power but not always.
And it was pointed out here that this guy did meet here when she was still in high school, so most likely very much a case of grooming.
But just in general I really take exception to the assumption that just because there is an age differential it’s a given that there is a power differential. Even though I agree broadly with what you say, these types of assumptions smack of morality police to me.
Rose and his wife Chelsea (née Doss) married in January 2011.[30] At the time, he was 45 and she was 21. He met her when she was 17.[31] They live in Cookeville, Tennessee, with their two sons. [6]
Doesn’t say when they started dating.
I will agree that it’s case by case, but if he started grooming her at 17 it’s grooming.
Grooming doesn’t always relate to age or age gap either. If a man is a teacher or leader at church camp or something, some position of authority it can go beyond the age of consent and still be considered grooming.
I’m a huge fan of the “half your age plus seven” rule. Even if it’s legal (assuming no grooming prior) it’s still pretty creepy. Especially since that’s the age you marry - presumably you’ve been together for a bit before that too.
I’ll join in and say you’re right. Policing morally “wrong” but legal acts is a very conservative way of doing things. You can point to dozens of activities that conservatives decry as “immoral” or “sinful” yet are legal and nobody cares what they think, but when it’s two adults who get married with a large age gap suddenly everyone wants to be moral guardians. Two consenting adults can make a legal choice, and anything more than that is nobody’s business.
That said, in this particular case, this dude met his wife when she was still in high school. He absolutely groomed her.
Yeah, I agree. But someone just provided info that the met when she was as under age. This no longer seems like it passes for “leave them alone” territory.
but everyone’s making up rules about what’s acceptable.
The hypocrisy for me is that folks want to dictate what is “morally acceptable” while objecting to other people’s wanting to dictate what is “morally acceptable”. In this case, and it all too common with Republicans generally, he did apparently groom her from a young age. But we can make a judgement based on that fact, not the fact of the age differential.
Read my other post. I stated I wasnt a fan of it. I wouldn’t do it. Don’t put words in my mouth. People here seem to want to keep shifting what constitutes an adult and restrict the autonomy of the individuals involved. That’s what I disagree with.
This guy married his wife when he was 45 and she was 21 🤮
It’s rare, but it happens. They’re consenting adults.
E: look, I’m not a fan of this age gap, but everyone’s making up rules about what’s acceptable. Either they’re adults or not, 18 is the cutoff, and if no grooming was involved you can dislike it all you want but they’re still adults.
E2: looks like they met when she was under age. So, no…this doesn’t work right at all.
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What if the woman was 45 and the man was 21?
Edit: to not be cryptic, my hope was that you’d answer similarly… obviously. To me the issue is not the age difference in and of itself but how or if the relationship came to be because of the age difference and the issues of power and control that might imply regardless of the gender identity of the older person. Obviously, older men do typically have disproportionate power but not always.
And it was pointed out here that this guy did meet here when she was still in high school, so most likely very much a case of grooming.
But just in general I really take exception to the assumption that just because there is an age differential it’s a given that there is a power differential. Even though I agree broadly with what you say, these types of assumptions smack of morality police to me.
Edit2: Of course, down vote. But why?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Rose_(Tennessee_politician)
Doesn’t say when they started dating.
I will agree that it’s case by case, but if he started grooming her at 17 it’s grooming.
Grooming doesn’t always relate to age or age gap either. If a man is a teacher or leader at church camp or something, some position of authority it can go beyond the age of consent and still be considered grooming.
Just because something is legal doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t judge people for doing it. It’s not illegal to be a creep.
I’m a huge fan of the “half your age plus seven” rule. Even if it’s legal (assuming no grooming prior) it’s still pretty creepy. Especially since that’s the age you marry - presumably you’ve been together for a bit before that too.
I mean in this case it’s 1/3 your age +6
I’ll join in and say you’re right. Policing morally “wrong” but legal acts is a very conservative way of doing things. You can point to dozens of activities that conservatives decry as “immoral” or “sinful” yet are legal and nobody cares what they think, but when it’s two adults who get married with a large age gap suddenly everyone wants to be moral guardians. Two consenting adults can make a legal choice, and anything more than that is nobody’s business.
That said, in this particular case, this dude met his wife when she was still in high school. He absolutely groomed her.
Yeah, I agree. But someone just provided info that the met when she was as under age. This no longer seems like it passes for “leave them alone” territory.
That was the very last thing I said:
As long as there wasn’t any grooming involved.
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Oh, wish I read this before I posted. Lol. 100% agree. He’s a groomer.
The hypocrisy for me is that folks want to dictate what is “morally acceptable” while objecting to other people’s wanting to dictate what is “morally acceptable”. In this case, and it all too common with Republicans generally, he did apparently groom her from a young age. But we can make a judgement based on that fact, not the fact of the age differential.
Just because it’s legal, doesn’t make it morally correct.
Reminds me of my aunt. Strongly against weed, then it gets legalized and suddenly she smokes more than I do. Pure hypocrisy.
21 is teenager part 2.
28 is the cutoff for grown adult and can do as they please.
It’s actually 36. That’s the age in the US when you have all your age-based Constitutional restrictions removed.
Edit: it’s actually 35 not 36.
Big if true
https://www.loc.gov/classroom-materials/elections/presidential-election-process/requirements-for-the-president-of-the-united-states/
Ignorance is bliss. You can lead a horse to water, it you can’t make them drink.
I’m very glad you’ve chosen to be happy.
I’m glad you made that decision for everyone. So two 20 year olds having sex aren’t adults? Just admit you don’t like the age gap and be honest.
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Read my other post. I stated I wasnt a fan of it. I wouldn’t do it. Don’t put words in my mouth. People here seem to want to keep shifting what constitutes an adult and restrict the autonomy of the individuals involved. That’s what I disagree with.
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Ok, I was unaware of that, and it sounds like grooming.
You are welcome.