This is why I hate ordering from A&W. They couldn’t just name the burgers by number of patties, toppings or weight like other fast food places. They have to make a stupid game out of it.

You know what it is that you want, but you have to comb through twenty different menu entries (based entirely on what appears to be possibly/maybe hanging off the burger in the photo) to determine if what you really want is a mama burger, an uncle burger, a cousin burger, a creepy/touchy uncle burger? A cousin burger once removed? A half-brother burger to a different mother burger? A grandpa’s brother burger? A double grandpa burger? A grandma burger but from the boring side of the family burger?

Perhaps you don’t want a family oriented burger at all and would prefer to browse our selection of buddy burgers? A great grandfather’s war buddy burger? A teen burger? What about a baby burger? Who’s baby? Who the fuck knows! Just come up to the till when your ready and ask for these items out loud. $2 up-charge btw if you want cheese on any of these fucking things.