there’s a difference between traumadumping and sharing some trauma/sorrow/sadness.
i compare it with my girlfriend, her family is composed of the worse human beings i ever encountered in this shit hole of earth, and if she said to me be every shit that they do every day that hapoen with them, it start fucking with me, my mental, my capability to help her, my emotional etc, that’s why she go to the therapist, so she don’t share every day shit that her family do and making me worry and only say to me things that matter
but she started working and studying now, so she spend less and less time with them, leaving less time for them to be assholes, what help me alot
Correct. A common part of psychoeducation for depressed, anxious, and personality-disordered patients is how to properly distribute the emotional load across multiple interpersonal relationships and make sure those people are being rewarded for their support with things like supporting them when they need it and making sure to have regular interactions based around good/happy things.
A lot of people wind up in inpatient psychiatry due to their social supports crumbling under too much or improperly distributed emotional stress. You don’t want to fixate on the concept, excessively worrying about bothering people isn’t the goal here. It’s more to just be mindful that you need to give people some good news too; if they’re really your friends they also want to hear that good things have happened to you.
It sounds like you maybe don’t have a lot in common with those people. I don’t mean that in a negative way, you can build commonalities if the relationships are worth it to you.
When they talk over you, what are they talking about? Try asking about those things and letting yourself get excited, even if they don’t sound like your interests. I once let someone infodump to me about Kim kardashian, whom I was actively uninterested in, but they were so passionate, I still enjoyed the conversation.
Otherwise you can try to do a new activity with them (even if you’re not in the same area, there are are dozens of remote socializing tools that are still around from the pandemic, online party games and things like that).
They might also just be having a tough time, too. I tend to withdraw from my loved ones when I’m stressed out. Maybe they’re not responding to the memes but they still appreciate them.
It doesn’t hurt to ask, assuming you trust them enough to be emotionally vulnerable like that. Maybe after doing something fun, since from the context of the post, I’m assuming you’re worried you might be emotionally overburdening them and a relationship talk (even for a friendship) isn’t exactly lighthearted.
there’s a difference between traumadumping and sharing some trauma/sorrow/sadness. i compare it with my girlfriend, her family is composed of the worse human beings i ever encountered in this shit hole of earth, and if she said to me be every shit that they do every day that hapoen with them, it start fucking with me, my mental, my capability to help her, my emotional etc, that’s why she go to the therapist, so she don’t share every day shit that her family do and making me worry and only say to me things that matter
but she started working and studying now, so she spend less and less time with them, leaving less time for them to be assholes, what help me alot
As someone who never heard of the term before, I assume that if traumadumping was just sharing trauma then it wouldn’t be called trauma dumping.
The overwhelming nature is what makes it dumping, as I’m your example.
Correct. A common part of psychoeducation for depressed, anxious, and personality-disordered patients is how to properly distribute the emotional load across multiple interpersonal relationships and make sure those people are being rewarded for their support with things like supporting them when they need it and making sure to have regular interactions based around good/happy things.
A lot of people wind up in inpatient psychiatry due to their social supports crumbling under too much or improperly distributed emotional stress. You don’t want to fixate on the concept, excessively worrying about bothering people isn’t the goal here. It’s more to just be mindful that you need to give people some good news too; if they’re really your friends they also want to hear that good things have happened to you.
Yall expect me to have multiple interpersonal relationships? In this economy?
just share the load across others instances, never heard about fediverse?
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Good news can also be you sharing a light hearted meme or talking about a tv show you like. It just needs to be positive interaction.
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It sounds like you maybe don’t have a lot in common with those people. I don’t mean that in a negative way, you can build commonalities if the relationships are worth it to you.
When they talk over you, what are they talking about? Try asking about those things and letting yourself get excited, even if they don’t sound like your interests. I once let someone infodump to me about Kim kardashian, whom I was actively uninterested in, but they were so passionate, I still enjoyed the conversation.
Otherwise you can try to do a new activity with them (even if you’re not in the same area, there are are dozens of remote socializing tools that are still around from the pandemic, online party games and things like that).
They might also just be having a tough time, too. I tend to withdraw from my loved ones when I’m stressed out. Maybe they’re not responding to the memes but they still appreciate them.
It doesn’t hurt to ask, assuming you trust them enough to be emotionally vulnerable like that. Maybe after doing something fun, since from the context of the post, I’m assuming you’re worried you might be emotionally overburdening them and a relationship talk (even for a friendship) isn’t exactly lighthearted.
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🤷 stop complaining about problems without telling people you don’t want help. Maybe we’ll both have a better time if we follow each other’s advice.