It should be your choice what bathroom you use. Even if you “look like a man” but are a woman, you should be able to use the women’s bathroom without being attacked. Same goes for men who “look like women”, in their words. Also, if a man “looks like a woman” or looks feminine but says his pronouns are he/him and that he’s a man, his pronouns are he/him and he’s a man.
I feel like I’m preaching to the choir here, but I can’t STAND IT. I’m a cis lesbian for crying out loud but at least I’m not like Arielle Scarcella or whatever the hell her name is.
Do you not expect people to honor your pronouns? Even among cis folks, when someone uses the wrong pronouns, it’s perfectly fine to correct them (and as a cis man who once had long hair, it came up a fair bit before I grew a beard).
It would be quite rude to continue using the wrong pronouns after someone corrected you. The only difference with queer folks is that their presentation doesn’t always make pronouns obvious.
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Sounds like you’re arguing semantics. If you don’t have gendered pronouns in your language, then yeah I wouldn’t expect there to be any issues. In languages with gendered pronouns, each person gets to decide which ones apply to them. It’s not that complicated.