And so, dear Wizard, your eyes—those twin orbs of arcane wisdom—are assailed by an unspeakable sight. A full, high-definition, slow-motion vista opens before you: the truth. Gronk… is going commando.
There is no lining. No barrier. No modesty. The protection this garment offers is strictly magical, not moral.
In a moment that seems to stretch into eternity, the dress lifts, flutters, and reveals the unrestrained thunder of Gronk’s ancestral pride—swinging with the weight of a hundred rages. Like a pendulum powered by pure barbaric joy. And now… you know.
A single tear of blood rolls down your cheek. Then another. Your staff slips from your hands as your pupils dilate with trauma. You take 1d4 psychic damage and gain the Bleeding (Eyes) condition for the next 1d6 rounds. Your next spell has disadvantage, unless it’s Blindness/Deafness cast on yourself.
A prude, uptight wizard who can’t deal with the barbarian’s lack of decorum, a bard who’s been having wet dreams about the barbarian, and the barbarian itself, who completely ignores the antics of both of them.
Bonus chance to blind enemies when spinning.
"Wizard, make a Wisdom saving throw.”
You fail. Spectacularly.
And so, dear Wizard, your eyes—those twin orbs of arcane wisdom—are assailed by an unspeakable sight. A full, high-definition, slow-motion vista opens before you: the truth. Gronk… is going commando.
There is no lining. No barrier. No modesty. The protection this garment offers is strictly magical, not moral.
In a moment that seems to stretch into eternity, the dress lifts, flutters, and reveals the unrestrained thunder of Gronk’s ancestral pride—swinging with the weight of a hundred rages. Like a pendulum powered by pure barbaric joy. And now… you know.
A single tear of blood rolls down your cheek. Then another. Your staff slips from your hands as your pupils dilate with trauma. You take 1d4 psychic damage and gain the Bleeding (Eyes) condition for the next 1d6 rounds. Your next spell has disadvantage, unless it’s Blindness/Deafness cast on yourself.
Roll for therapy.
Honestly sounds like a great time
Sounds like a fun party!
A prude, uptight wizard who can’t deal with the barbarian’s lack of decorum, a bard who’s been having wet dreams about the barbarian, and the barbarian itself, who completely ignores the antics of both of them.