Throw away account obviously but I’m sitting here, on a Friday night alone. I recently split off with my fiancee of 2 years, we were supposed to be wed in a few months. Shes off partying and living life up, and I’m happy for her. We still live together for the time being before our lease ends. This is exactly how my previous relationship ended. Ironic. She has a social circle to support her.
Well, throughout the course of 5 years, I have slowly burned many bridges of friends and over the course of 10 years, have destroyed many women’s perception of trust. The list goes on. My regret and guilt is an all time high.
On top of this, my family doesn’t really know the real me. I have such a hard time making connections with them and others at this point of my life.
I am seeking to rectify the entire situation by trying some therapeutic techniques. AMA.
How strange, I see myself in the same type of way. It’s a me vs the world mentality but then I learned that it’s really me vs me. This world isn’t so friendly, it truly isnt. It’s so cruel and it will try it’s hardest to make sure you don’t succeed but its your mentality that will let you get farther than most in this life.
You have a very unique look on life. What is your background and age if you don’t mind sharing.
I mean yeah, one’s mindset may help, but you’re still in a world that dislikes things about you that you can’t change and which has no problem expressing that by radical means. I certainly wouldn’t say that if anyone were to go through even certain parts of what I’ve gone through, that it’s their duty to shrug it off. Sanity and insanity exist. At a certain point, I have taken up the habit of going full Marcus Aurelius and jotting down what many might call my evolving thought processes in response to each new development and evolving my approach, but, reminding many of us what kind of people I’m dealing with, they often say I’m being “too pragmatic” when I do so, as in I’m not worshipping the forms of intuition that serve them (and based on that conclude I must be wrong). And it should be noted that I’ve never been implying I mentally separate people between “me” and “them” when I describe my experiences, I’ve only ever been putting forth what the experiences themselves are like, with the actual chain reactions and thought processes that lead up to different parts of them being anything but simple, except in the case of the fact authorities typically side with me (even though they sometimes have to fake otherwise).
Not sure what you mean when you ask about background, but I’m a mixed race (part Scottish and part Pacific Islander) dual faith woman whose family has Kiwi origins that show up in our voices but also roots in Vermont, who has been known to attend an outsourced New-York-based grade school, and who is just old enough that she could finish her Human Services courses if she wanted to while getting a remotely sufficient diploma to leave with.