Seriously. I’m asocial and depressed. Also, I like spending time with people and how they’re there for me when I need it, but I also have several mental illnesses and no empathy.
I’m not obligated to give you something back when you buy something for me. I want it, and you’re nice enough to get it for me. Why do I have to give you something back? I don’t know what you want. I can guess but I can’t really tune into other people that well.
And when people ask how I am, I just say “Fine”. Why do I have to ask how they are? They never told me to ask how they are, they asked how I was. Also, what’s so wrong with “Nothing/Nun” when they ask what I did? Genuinely, I didn’t do much, there’s nothing to talk about.
It also feels easier to talk to men because they don’t seem to compete with me or expect much from me, how can I fix that so I can talk to my own gender?
It’s possible you’re conflating asocial and antisocial behavior.
Humans are social creatures and we communicate in more than just words. How you respond to people, or in this case don’t respond to people, says a lot to them. What the other person interprets may or may not be true. Frankly, humans are prone to storytelling so they have a tendency to presume the worst. If you aren’t reinforcing otherwise with your words and your behavior, then they will naturally become upset.
I’m really really glad to hear that you have people in your life that seem to care about you, ask about how you are, and provide various things for you. However, even though you may not feel like it for whatever reasons, refraining from reciprocating that behavior will starve out those relationships.
Human relationships are always quid pro quo. If you are receiving, then you will be giving something back. It doesn’t have to be one-to-one and not usually immediate.
If you want relationships of any kind to be healthy, then reciprocating when people invest into you is important. Again, it doesn’t necessarily have to be in the same way or amount, but there does have to be a response. Without that, the relationship becomes unhealthy or eventually over.
On a side note, I’m really proud to see you being forthright and honest with your mental health. I know it’s more commonly spoken about these days, but it can still be hard. I hope that you’re getting help as you navigate through it. You might find that some of the internal healing work you do will also positively affect the very relationships you are talking about in this post.
May your tomorrow’s be better than each today. 💜