My sister Lena’s friend (they are no longer friends actually) Ashlyn (14) seems to have an inflated ego. She thinks she’s better than everyone else and puts people down to prove it.
She specifically targets Lena because she’s there with her and Lena seems to be her scapegoat when something goes wrong. She takes her anger out on Lena and scolds her when something happens (ex: if someone drops something, she screams “Dammit Lena!”). One time, she went to our house to visit Lena and said “I SWEAR TO GOD LENA. I SWEAR I’LL KILL YOU” but then told me she was joking.
She says several racial slurs and the K-word and such to people as well because “she has the right as a black person”, even though she’s not just saying the N word.
I remember once she tried to “ruin Lena’s life” because Ashlyn apparently had a boyfriend or something but was being romantic with another guy. The first guy eventually found out and broke up with Ashlyn. This made her mad that Lena asked if she was still with the first guy (not knowing he found out and broke up).
I tried mediating something with Lena and Ashlyn in the past, but Ashlyn told me “It’s just the way I am, I’m neurodivergent with mental illnesses.”
So yeah, I’m at least very glad that Ashlyn won’t be coming to our house for a while.
Really depends on whether or not you think adolescence is a mental illness or just a really nasty period (pun semi-intended) to live through. Sounds like Ashlyn has additional emotional issues that could be rooted in being a black girl in a white world, or having a demanding parent, or whatever. She needs help from a knowledgeable adult. Taking it out on Lena is not going to help either of them. Maybe ask Lena what she feels about it, if she knows what the root problem is, and if she wants to continue the friendship. It might make a difference to Lena to know you are there for her.
Thank you! Lena doesn’t know the problem, she told me Ashlyn either says it’s the way she is and no one can change it, or that they deserve it because she’s better.