• john89
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    15 hours ago

    It’s not their fault insomuch as they can’t think for themselves, I’ll agree with you there.

    But the agreement stops when you blame the patriarchy over consumerism. No, this generation has been convinced to sell itself out to the lowest bidder. Average women are proud consumers that want to live like instagram models. Any kind of modesty is shunned in their social circles. It’s drowned out by “look at this new thing I bought! Please praise me for spending money!”

    The sex speaks for itself. Men have a ridiculously easy time getting laid if they have money, even if they’re pieces of shit in every other way.

    • MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      your post is concerning. What most people respond to is confidence and being fun/interesting. When I have previously had trouble getting dates the thing that needed fixing was my attitude NOT my finances.

      • john89
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        8 hours ago

        Keep doing whatever you can to avoid holding women accountable for anything.

        That’s how we treat them like children.

    • SmilingSolaris@lemmy.world
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      14 hours ago

      I should also note. The concept you are referring to as “they can’t think for themselves” is called False Consciousness. The idea that oppressive systems like patriarchy and capitalism create this sense that you are acting with complete free will but you actually are following a set of expectations and thoughts and even language that feedback loops on itself in a never ending reinforcement loop.

      It’s like, your right at the core of what your saying. There is truth there. But you use such anti women language rather than targeting the systems, ideologies and incentives that make both men and women this way.

      • NostraDavid@programming.dev
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        8 hours ago

        but you actually are following a set of expectations and thoughts and even language that feedback loops on itself in a never ending reinforcement loop.

        Isn’t that culture in general? Not saying it doesn’t apply to “the patriarchy”, but this definition is a bit too wide, IMO.

      • john89
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        14 hours ago

        complete free will

        Hyperbole.

        It’s a spectrum, for sure. I wouldn’t be who I am without the influence of others.

        That said, women are way more likely to go along with what the crowd (their peers) is doing than I am. If they disagree with the crowd, they are way less likely to put those disagreements into action than I am.

        They cannot think for themselves and it’s encouraged by those who refuse to acknowledge it. It’s not a problem unique to women, but they suffer from it more than men because women have been conditioned to operate as one unit.

        • MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world
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          11 hours ago

          Have you talked to a therapist that specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy about your views here? You might be happier in the long run if you do.

          • john89
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            8 hours ago

            I can tell you’re upset because I’m saying things you don’t like. It’s okay, I see it all the time and don’t expect more from you people on these forums.

            Goodbye. Easy block.

        • SmilingSolaris@lemmy.world
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          14 hours ago

          Brother, you are right now repeating the most common, basic and wrong male anti feminist talking points as you talk about how women are so baby brained that they can’t think.

          It ain’t hyperbole. It’s academic theory. You are so caught up in not using the word you don’t like. I am telling you that you don’t know what that word means. I explain what it means. You then repeat “no” and then say the same thing but in a misogynist lens.

          There’s even non misogynist ways to explain the “operating as one unit” borg brain you are talking about. It’s just the women’s side of patriarchy. That’s a built in function of patriarchy. You have a hard time seeing that because you are not a woman and have a flawed concept of the word patriarchy. Do you get what I’m saying?

          • john89
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            14 hours ago

            as you talk about how women are so baby brained that they can’t think.

            Saying it’s an ‘anti-feminist’ talking point holds no water when we’re describing reality. You’re literally supporting my argument by saying that women can’t rise above the expectations the patriarchy has put on them. They can’t think for themselves.

            You’re also supporting my notion that you refuse to acknowledge greed and consumerism as being the root cause of these issues because you’re so distracted and invested in blaming “the patriarchy.”

            It’s a lot easier for women to blame “the patriarchy,” because if they addressed their own greed then they would have to give something up. If all the blame is put on “the patriarchy,” then women can continue to consume just as they always have and delude themselves into thinking they’re not part of the problem.

            It’s just the women’s side of patriarchy.

            Now this is an interesting point to bring up, although it does reinforce my argument. Men are more likely to value autonomy, women are more likely to value homogeny. It’s why I said that women have a harder time thinking for themselves than men and why they’ve been conditioned to operate as one unit.

            None of this is up for debate and you haven’t disproved any of my points. Even if these ideas aren’t acceptable in our social circles, it doesn’t mean they don’t describe reality.

            Stop trying to look good in front of your peers.

            • MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world
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              11 hours ago

              You come across as if you never considered that your persoective is just that amd isn’t an unbiased reflection of reality.

              When people talk about the patriarchy they are talking about the inherent sexism within society that creates all of the issues you are complaining about.

              • john89
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                8 hours ago

                Don’t care how I “come across.”

                It’s part of being able to think for myself.

                I fully-expect people like you to react the way you are whenever you see it; that’s how bad it’s gotten.

                • MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world
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                  7 hours ago

                  You are displaying serious signs of narcissism here most especially equating your perspective as unbiased “reality”. That’s a bad sign.

            • SmilingSolaris@lemmy.world
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              14 hours ago

              Look. We are talking in circles. So let me leave you off with a quote from one of the most famous feminist writers, Bell Hooks.

              It is obvious that many women have appropriated feminism to serve their own ends, especially those white women who have been at the forefront of the movement; but rather than resigning myself to this appropriation I choose to re-appropriate the term ‘feminism’, to focus on the fact that to be ‘feminist’ in any authentic sense of the term is to want for all people, female and male, liberation from sexist role patterns, domination, and oppression. – Ain’t I A Woman: Black Women and Feminism, 1981

              Like I said. You are stuck in a mind loop called a false consciousness. I was unable to break you out of it this conversation. I hope that this conversation is a seed in your brain that someday, someone else more able to speak your language waters and sprouts into understanding.

              Please understand. You are not talking about “women”. You are talking about patriarchy. You are complaining about patriarchy. You are complaining about women who are also stuck in the same patriarchy false consciousness as you are, but from the other side. Your talk about women and greed is a complex intersection of patriarchy and capitalism. They effect each other and support each other.

              I genuinely hope you take that extra step towards understanding and abandon your misogynist lens. It is doing more harm to you than you know.

              • NostraDavid@programming.dev
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                6 hours ago

                to focus on the fact that to be ‘feminist’ in any authentic sense of the term is to want for all people, female and male, liberation from sexist role patterns, domination, and oppression.

                That’s the dumbed definition of a word I’ve seen in quite a while. How about:

                “advocating women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.”

                They may do it by setting fire to a Theatre just to try to kill a single person, like a terrorist group, but at least this definition fits.

                The whole “Feminism is for both sexes” has always been bullshit. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it.

              • MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world
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                11 hours ago

                They need cognitive behavioral therapy to hopefully break them from the notion that their perception aligns with reality.

              • john89
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                13 hours ago

                Yeah, just re-read my previous comment.

                I didn’t expect more from you, to be honest.

    • SmilingSolaris@lemmy.world
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      15 hours ago

      You are still just complaining about the intersection of patriarchy and capitalism. What you are saying is feminist theory. We are still in agreement here, though I disagree with the way you word it.

      For example. You say that the average women wants to live like Instagram models. You are right, but that is due to patriarchy creating the cultural expectations that men are unable to meet in the modern world due to capitalisms squeeze. It is women simply trying to meet their side of the expectation.

      Feminism is in part about how patriarchy binds both genders by expectations. People generally focus on the way it binds women. However it fucks men over as well. We are expected to have money, we are expected to “provide” weather in the classical sense of a family or in the modern sense of just having the money to meet consumerist whims, it doesn’t really matter which one your talking about, it’s still patriarchy.

      When patriarchy is normally discussed it’s about how men are privileged and women are oppressed. And while even as a, as the incels like to say, “low value man” you do have some societal privileges, it is very often ignored that patriarchy oppresses us men as well for not meeting those expectations. In this case, having money. Which we don’t because capitalism funnels money into fewer and fewer hands, making fewer and fewer men able to achieve those expectations.

      I hope I explained this well and didn’t talk in too many circles. Like I said. Wombo combo of capitalism and patriarchy that tag team to fuck over men.

      • john89
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        15 hours ago

        You are right, but that is due to patriarchy creating the cultural expectations

        This is where we disagree, and it’s not just the words that we use. Women are greedy, too. They like the nice things men buy them. They don’t care about the true cost of consumerism because they’ve been conditioned to ignore it.

        It is women simply trying to meet their side of the expectation.

        This is why I agree with you insomuch as women aren’t able to think for themselves. I don’t put that expectation on them. People richer than us do. Even though I’m able to rise above their influence, the average person cannot. This goes doubly-so for women because women have been encouraged for generations to function as one entity as much as possible.

        • SmilingSolaris@lemmy.world
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          14 hours ago

          That’s still not disagreeing with me though. You are agreeing fundamentally with what I am saying, but you don’t understand what the words mean. You have a false consciousness of your own that is at this moment blocking you from understanding what mean by “patriarchy”.

          The only difference in what we are saying is that you don’t know the big fancy words and theory backing it up and instead replace it with anti women language that you have picked up and understood. At the core, past the language and operating on pure ideas, we are saying the same thing.

          • john89
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            14 hours ago

            It is disagreeing, though. You’re saying that women can’t rise above the expectations put on them by “the patriarchy.” I agree that women, on average, cannot think for themselves.

            It’s not the fault of the patriarchy that women like expensive things and are willing to reward males who buy them things with sex. Women themselves encourage this behavior.

            Trying to absolve them of any responsibility is just contributing to the culture of treating women like children.

            • SmilingSolaris@lemmy.world
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              14 hours ago

              That’s not what I am saying. Women and men can rise above those expectations. It’s called feminism.

              Wrong, you just described patriarchy. You do not know what that word means. You understand it as “men good, women bad”. You described an aspect of patriarchy as it effects both women’s expectations of men and men’s expectations of women.

              Of course everyone is responsible for their own actions. However when discussing the way a group of people, especially such a wide one as half the population, you use terms that accurately describe the ideologies at work rather than the group itself. Because to do so builds stereotypes and reinforces false consciousness related to that group. In your case, you are stuck in the male patriarchal false consciousness that is clouding your ability to see that we are saying the same thing.

              • john89
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                14 hours ago

                That’s not what I am saying. Women and men can rise above those expectations. It’s called feminism.

                No, it’s not. It’s called autonomy.

                “men good, women bad”

                Wrong. I never said nor implied anything like this.

                You described an aspect of patriarchy as it effects both women’s expectations of men and men’s expectations of women.

                It’s an aspect of the patriarchy, but it stems from consumerism and greed.

                you use terms that accurately describe the ideologies at work rather than the group itself.

                Wrong. I’m telling you uncomfortable truths so you have to plug your ears and deny.

                Because to do so builds stereotypes

                No. Seeing their actions builds the stereotype. If they can’t rise above other people’s expectations, then it coincidentally reinforces the idea that they can’t think for themselves.

                In your case, you are stuck in the male patriarchal false consciousness that is clouding your ability to see that we are saying the same thing.

                In your case, you’re desperate to prove that “feminism is the solution and the patriarchy is the problem” when the real issue is greed and consumerism.

                We can just agree to disagree here. If you’re going to be pretentious and patronizing by saying “I agree but I don’t understand the words being used,” then just re-read this comment.

                • SmilingSolaris@lemmy.world
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                  13 hours ago

                  Patriarchy and capitalism go hand in hand. We are still saying the same thing. You do not know what those words mean. You take it as patronizing because it would be silly for you to not know what that word means.

                  Except it’s not silly. It’s extremely common. That’s why there’s a whole academic theory about it. False consciousness. It’s a very hard thing to break yourself out of. It’s kinda like alcoholic rehab. The first step is admitting you are in it and beginning to deconstruct it.

                  Our entire society is built in reinforcing these false consciousness. It is very very difficult to break them. As I said in another thread to you. I hope this is a seed of words and ideas that hopefully someone who speaks your language better will water and sprout into understanding.

                  I’m sorry that this is all sounding patronizing and elitist and whatever else that makes you feel small. I genuinely do. Please take everything I have said how I intended it. With love and hope and empathy and understanding.

                  • GrammarPolice@lemmy.world
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                    13 hours ago

                    Hmm, i think you’re too ardent in your beliefs. Their point is that there are women who are aware that what they’re doing is leveraging their position to obtain material possessions. This kind of thing isn’t specific to any gender or ideology.

                    Would you say that it is because of patriarchy that a man (who can do it) leverages his looks for material gain? It’s just greed and opulence.

                  • john89
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                    13 hours ago

                    Patriarchy and capitalism go hand in hand. We are still saying the same thing.

                    They are related, but not the same. We are not saying the same thing.

                    You do not know what those words mean.

                    Ironic, considering you seem to literally believe capitalism and patriarchy mean the same thing.

                    You take it as patronizing because it would be silly for you to not know what that word means.

                    I take it as patronizing because it is and I’ve dealt with your kind before.

                    I am going to have to block you now, though, without reading the rest of your drivel.

                    Re-read my previous comments if you have any further misunderstandings or still believe we are in agreement. We are not and you are being willfully ignorant if you think otherwise.

                    You may have the last word. I can tell you’re dying for it.

            • Maeve@kbin.earth
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              10 hours ago

              With attitudes like I see you displaying, I wouldn’t sleep with you either. Listen to yourself and the words you use. That’s not thinking for yourself, that’s focusing on perceived others’ faults in order to take zero responsibility for own faults.

            • GrammarPolice@lemmy.world
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              14 hours ago

              Women themselves encourage this behavior.

              The women whose minds are also enslaved to the patriarchy encourage this. Sounds like we’re saying the same thing

              • john89
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                14 hours ago

                Not really. I’m referring to women enjoying the benefits they get from having others do the work for them.

                Trying to argue that they can’t enjoy this without some overarching control is just reinforcing the idea that women can’t think for themselves.

                Good job doing your part to reinforce the idea that women should be treated like children.

                • GrammarPolice@lemmy.world
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                  14 hours ago

                  Interesting perspective. I think we’re arguing from two different viewpoints here. Mine is that the women I’m referring to have a sense of entitlement to male servitude (the sole cause of this i proclaim to be patriarchy) while yours seems to be they don’t necessarily feel entitled, but are just “enjoying the spoils of war” so to speak.

                  • john89
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                    13 hours ago

                    Yes, exactly.

                    Although I will agree with you that there are women out there that feel as though they are ‘owed’ something due to the historical treatment of women.