I have heard from multiple people that eye contact is essential in letting a girl (or guy, I guess) know you’re interested.
But what is the 411 when it comes to said eye contact? Do you keep looking until she does? Do you then keep staring? Or is like looking at the sun? What’s the deal?
In her book “How to talk to anyone” Leil Lowndes suggests that when speaking with women it’s best to maintain constant, unbroken eye contact to signal attention and interest. She goes on to note that even when engaged in conversation with multiple people one should act as if their eyes are constantly glued to the woman, only briefly looking away when another person is speaking and behaving as if your eyes are irresistibly drawn back to the woman of interest. She believes this formula is best in male to female conversations and female to female conversation.
By contrast, she notes that when engaged in a male to male conversation, one should regularly break eyecontact as not to be perceived as a threat. However, one should still act as if your eyes are being irresistibly drawn back to theirs.
… I have no idea what Lowndes’s qualifications are and frankly this sounds like a formula written by an alien trying to understand humans but hey maybe theres some merrit to it idk
Honestly, as a woman, if a man started doing this to me in a group I’d be freaked the fuck out
Yep. As if women would never perceive men as a threat based on the same signals men would use to perceive threat.
Men, logical and hunter warrior manly men. Women, attention seekers. Therefore, stare down pretty women to show manly manness.
Alpha bro evo psych is so wild.
Yeah but due to conditioning from many generations of patriarchy, the man being perceived as a threat might actually help his chances. A disproportionately high ratio of women seem to enjoy threatening sexual partners.
If getting laid is the only goal, the male has more to fear from not trying than fear of rejection. That and pepper spray.
I think they mean 1 on 1
Jesus christ dude
Kinda sounds like it would be the same kind of thing that brought forth the whole “alpha male” thing.
I got that vibe throughout the entire book. It really smelled to me of someone trying to justify their own success when in reality she was probably just born with the right connections.
Almost like sex hormones change the way people act and react
Okay but where’s the line between “unbroken eye contact to signal attention and interest” and just being a creepy stalker?
Varies with attractiveness.
Can confirm. Have been told I have dangerous eyes.
Depends mainly on your own looks, and a little bit on the question if she’s already into you:
Are you closer to George Clooney or The Real Life Hunchback?
Well, I got the impression that the author was mostly hanging out in upper class society. So while she’s asserting that these rules are universally applicable, her frame of reference seemed to be mostly talking to people in situations like fundraisers and galas. I imagine she’s operating on a framework of always having some prior knowledge of the people she’s engaging with.
Gotta follow rules 1 and 2, of course.
The only community I’ve been in where men constantly break eye contact is the military. And that’s because we were in Iraq and constantly checking out surroundings as we talked. Men are not gorillas. Eye contact is perceived as paying attention to the conversation.