OTTAWA – A smug man from Canada wasted no time this morning chastising Americans for re-electing terrifying liar and felon Donald Trump, despite the fact that he plans to vote for terrifying liar and asshole Pierre Poilievre in the next Canadian election.

Matt Hunter, a 36-year-old barista, took time away from attending a Poilievre rally to rant about how stupid Americans were for falling for Trump’s fascist bullshit.

“I just can’t believe that someone could look at a petty asshole running on slogans, lies, and faux outrage and think, ‘Yeah, this guy will be good for the country,’” Hunter laughed, taking a quick second to repost an “Axe the Tax, Build the Homes, Fix the Budget, Stop the Crime” tweet on X. “It makes no sense. Luckily we up here in Canada have more common sense. Pierre says so.”

“When Poilievre becomes Prime Minister next year, he’s gonna stand up to Trump. They’re so different in ways that I can’t even describe. Don’t even ask me what those ways are. Just trust me, bro. He’ll bring Canada home again.”

  • jerkface
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    5
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    13 days ago

    Canada is very much a collection of separate interests that banded together for pragmatic reasons. All this nationalist nonsense people espouse is entirely manufactured. The idea that there even SHOULD be a national identity is bullshit. There should absolutely be a way for groups to leave again when it is no longer in their pragmatic interest to stay.

    • JamesStallion@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      13 days ago

      I mean, Quebec doesn’t evenn really want to leave. Legault has found a winning strategy that will keep his party in power for decades: Never hold a referendum, but leverage that notwithstanding clause and general nationalist animus to take and horde as much power in this province as possible forever. That way everything that goes wrong is because of the feds, and everything that goes right is because of the glorious CAQ.

      • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        13 days ago

        Have you seen Legault’s numbers? 😂 His party is getting wiped out of Quebec come next election and the PQ will be reborn unless the Liberals elect the Messiah as their leader!

        • JamesStallion@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          13 days ago

          Glorious, I love to see it. At least the PQ pretend to be progressives when they aren’t selling out the north to foreign mining companies, restricting minority rights and generally sucking shit.