I know this is probably a shitposting meme. And my wife and my female friend, when I asked them, both laughed and said, “Yeah all the time.” I can’t tell if it’s sarcasm.

I asked this because Im a guy, and we’ve heard it all before. The guy plowing a warm apple pie. The ookie cookie BS. The jerk off with a sock. Dudes have done some weird things. I absolutely have found myself relieving some stress in interesting ways.

But veggies: Is this a common thing? Am I going to have to worry that my daughter, when she reaches a curious age, starts exploring with vegetables?

During puberty, should I start giving my children Amazon gift cards or no questions ask money to protect my produce?

I am aware this question is ridiculous and I am prepared to be ridiculed.

  • PeriodicallyPedantic
    57·
    1 month ago

    People are missing the more important question:
    Why did she put the cucumber back in the fridge?

    • blady_blah@lemmy.world
      5·
      1 month ago

      ient dirty joke. Back in the day kids you could find collections of them in printed books, and later, entire websites solely dedicated to hosting thousands of dirty jokes. They were presented in story format, often happening to your cousin’s friend.

      Not saying no one had ever had this happen to them in the history of mankind. But this is also an old dirty joke that is probably more commonly repeated than acted out.

      *WITHOUT WASHING IT! I mean, was she ok with it being eaten by another family member as long as it wasn’t her? That’s just as gross!

      • MystikIncarnateEnglish
        2·
        1 month ago

        Yeah, that’s my main take away.

        Not only did she put it back in the fridge in this completely fabricated story, but they did so without washing it?

        Who does that?

    • Valmond@lemmy.world
      4·
      1 month ago

      You have to put it in lukewarm water for 30min / 1 hour too so putting it in the fridge seems counterproductive.

      Well so I have heard, but it was for zucchinis (true story actually, but it was the guy explaining it, I have no idea if it was only used for stroking or penetrating or just to fool around with to lighten up the miod or something. I also recall something about peeling it but that seems wrong).